A mother has sparked controversy by revealing that she shaved her daughter\u2019s hair as a punishment after learning that she had bullied a classmate with cancer.
\nDaiana Birollo, a content creator who describes herself as a storyteller, took to TikTok to recount the case, which she said happened to one of her followers.
\nIn the email sent to Birollo, the mother explained that the goal was to teach her daughter a lesson about empathy and the consequences of hurting others.
\nA mother shaved her 11-year-old daughter\u2019s head as punishment for bullying a classmate undergoing chemotherapy.
\nThe bullying victim was relentlessly mocked for her bald head, prompting urgent school intervention.
\nExperts weighed in on the controversial punishment and the causes behind bullying.
\nA mother shaved off her daughter\u2019s hair after discovering her \u201cpolite\u201d child had been bullying a classmate with cancer
\nTrigger warning: This article contains details that some readers may find distressing.<\/p>\n
Psychology and education experts have since weighed in on the punishment, explaining whether it is effective and how parents should respond when their child is bullying someone.<\/p>\n
The mother said the news that her daughter was a bully came as a complete surprise, given that her 11-year-old behaved perfectly well at home.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe has always been a polite, straight-A student. She never caused trouble at home, and I had never received a call from the school regarding her behavior,\u201d Birollo explained, quoting her follower.
\nThe mother said she and her husband had always spoken to their daughter about the importance of respecting others.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis should help us reflect on the fact that we only know how our children behave at home. We truly don\u2019t know how they act on the streets, with their friends, when they\u2019re far away from us,\u201d the concerned mother stated.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd I realized that I didn\u2019t know my daughter.\u201d<\/p>\n
She explained that her 11-year-old had changed schools earlier this year and befriended a new group of classmates.<\/p>\n
Months after the change, the mother and her husband were called to the school for an urgent meeting.<\/p>\n
The victim was mocked over her bald head while undergoing chemotherapy
\n\u201cI became worried and asked my daughter if something had happened, and she said, \u2018No,\u2019\u201d the mother explained.<\/p>\n
During the meeting, the headmaster explained that her daughter and her friends had repeatedly bullied another girl who was undergoing chemotherapy. The girls had been warned by the school three times, but the attacks continued, with them pointing at the victim\u2019s bald head and laughing at her.<\/p>\n
As Birollo described, the victim was so affected by the bullying that she attempted to take her own life, prompting her parents to contact school authorities.<\/p>\n
This made the mother question where she had gone wrong in raising her daughter. After reflecting on how to handle the situation, she concluded that the best way to teach her daughter a lesson was to shave her head.
\n\u201cI didn\u2019t want to take her phone away or ground her. I wanted something that would change her forever,\u201d Birollo recounted, adding that her follower also took her daughter to her classmate\u2019s house to apologize.<\/p>\n
The mother said her daughter cried as she cut off her long hair and shaved her head. She revealed that she also became upset, though she doesn\u2019t regret her decision.<\/p>\n
Birollo described the victim\u2019s parents as being \u201cshocked\u201d by the decision. She said her follower acknowledged that the punishment was cruel but believed it was a \u201cnecessary\u201d lesson to ensure her daughter never mistreated anyone else.<\/p>\n
The family also visited the victim\u2019s home so the 11-year-old girl could apologize in person
\nClaire Cameron, a specialist in childhood education and cognitive psychology, told Bored Panda that the punishment in question is \u201cdramatic but not necessarily a bad idea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe goal with any consequence would be to help the child learn to take the perspective of the person they are bullying. Having a shaved head could help the girl realize what her classmate might be going through in a way that\u2019s hard to teach verbally.\u201d<\/p>\n
Still, Cameron warned that the punishment could also be \u201ctraumatizing\u201d for the child, depending on how the parent frames the act.<\/p>\n
Regarding the apology, the education expert said this approach is not effective if it feels forced for the aggressor.<\/p>\n
\u201cRequired apologies are not optimal because they force behaviors rather than developing more subtle, internal emotional skills like empathy and remorse.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt could be an effective experience to have to face the victim, but with more of a \u2018Let\u2019s check on this person to see if they\u2019re okay after what they went through\u2019 type of way.\u201d<\/p>\n
The controversial punishment divided experts on whether it teaches empathy or causes harm
\nTracy Vaillancourt, a specialist in youth mental health and violence prevention , disagrees, stating that shaving the bully\u2019s head and similar \u201can eye for an eye\u201d approaches are not educational.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do not recommend this approach because it is too punitive. Ironically, it also represents the same kind of ab*se of power that bullying represents,\u201d she told Bored Panda.<\/p>\n
Vaillancourt believes apologizing is the best way to help children take accountability for their mistakes.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is important for people to apologize to the people they have harmed. Accountability goes a long way,\u201d she said, adding, \u201cAll bullying needs to be taken seriously and addressed promptly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Both experts agreed that bullying is often the result of negative family relationships.<\/p>\n
As Cameron noted, bullying tends to occur when children are not supported in expressing their uncomfortable emotions and are shamed or punished for expressing anger, sadness, or fear.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe first thing a parent should do in this case is to examine what their own parenting and home context might be contributing to the situation. Children who bully may be experiencing controlling adults or siblings, or coercive or threatening interactions.<\/p>\n
\u201cSiblings or other relatives may bully more vulnerable family members without parents knowing. The key is to have children learn social emotional skills in all contexts, including home and school.\u201c<\/p>\n
Experts said parents should examine what may be happening at home when a child becomes a bully
\nOne warning sign that a child is bullying someone is if they frequently gossip about or mock their peers.<\/p>\n
Insecure children may also bully others to impress or gain the approval of their close peer group.<\/p>\n
The experts recommended that parents who discover that their child is bullying someone schedule a family therapy appointment or take them to a child therapist. They also advise working with the school, which likely has bullying prevention programs in place or experience handling similar cases.<\/p>\n
\u201cToo far,\u201d one viewer commented, while many others shared their thoughts on the mother\u2019s response
\nThanks! Check out the results:
\nTotal votes \u00b7<\/p>\n
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