{"id":1634,"date":"2025-12-04T06:52:09","date_gmt":"2025-12-04T06:52:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/?p=1634"},"modified":"2025-12-04T06:52:09","modified_gmt":"2025-12-04T06:52:09","slug":"my-husband-and-his-mother-locked-me-out-in-the-rain-at-night-while-i-was-six-months-pregnant-they-watched-me-through-the-glass-while-i-was-bleeding-before-turning-off-the-light-by-midnight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/?p=1634","title":{"rendered":"My husband and his mother locked me out in the rain at night\u2014while I was six months pregnant. They watched me through the glass while I was bleeding before turning off the light. By midnight, I was back on that same porch\u2014only this time, I wasn\u2019t alone. As they opened the door, my husband\u2019s face drained of color. His mother\u2019s voice broke into a scream as the wine glass fell from her hand. Because the man was\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Lightning split the sky above our Ohio suburb, turning the world white for a heartbeat. In that flash, you could see everything: the manicured lawn, the American flag snapping on the porch, and me\u2014barefoot, six months pregnant, pounding on my own front door as rain hammered down like judgment. Each drop was a needle, cold and sharp, driving the truth deeper: I was not welcome here. Not anymore.<\/p>\n<p>Inside, through the frosted glass, my husband and his mother stood in the yellow glow of the living room. Their faces were shadows, unmoving, watching me with the kind of stillness that only comes from certainty. I screamed until my throat was raw. \u201cPlease! I\u2019m pregnant! Your baby is inside me!\u201d My words blurred into the storm, swallowed by thunder and the endless Midwestern rain. Thomas, the man I\u2019d built my world around, turned away first. Diane, his mother, lingered\u2014her gaze as cold as the rain soaking through my sweater\u2014before she, too, disappeared. The living room light snapped off. I was left in darkness, just another secret in a quiet American neighborhood.<\/p>\n<p>That was when the pain started. A twisting, brutal cramp deep inside, more terrifying than the cold. I pressed my palm to my belly, desperate to feel my daughter move. She kicked, strong and alive, but I could feel something else\u2014something tearing inside me, something breaking that would never heal. The woman who had loved Thomas, who had believed in home and family and happy endings, died on that porch. The rain washed her away.<\/p>\n<p>But something else was born in her place.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t remember how long I stood there, pounding on the door, blood from my split knuckles mixing with the rain. Minutes, hours\u2014it didn\u2019t matter. The street was empty, the only sound the storm and my own sobbing. I tried the garage, the windows, every entrance. All locked. They\u2019d planned this. Every exit sealed, every hope choked out.<\/p>\n<p>I collapsed on the steps, shivering, my teeth chattering so hard I bit my tongue. The pain in my belly sharpened. I felt the warmth of blood trickling down my thigh. \u201cNo,\u201d I whispered. \u201cPlease, no.\u201d My hands left red smears on the door as I pounded again. \u201cThomas! Diane! Something\u2019s wrong. The baby\u2014please.\u201d Only silence answered me.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when I saw the headlights. For a second, I thought I was hallucinating\u2014a sleek black sedan cutting through the rain, pulling into our driveway. The engine idled, the door swung open, and a man stepped out. He was tall, lean, and dangerous, his dark hair plastered to his face by the storm. Even in the gloom, I recognized him: Alexe Volkov, the only real family I\u2019d ever known.<\/p>\n<p>He crossed the yard in three strides, his expensive suit ruined by the rain. \u201cElena.\u201d My name was a growl, raw and furious. He knelt beside me, his hands surprisingly gentle as he wrapped his jacket around my shoulders. \u201cWho did this to you?\u201d His voice was soft as velvet, sharp as broken glass.<\/p>\n<p>My lips trembled. \u201cThomas. Diane. They locked me out. I\u2019m bleeding. The baby\u2014\u201d The rest dissolved into sobs.<\/p>\n<p>Alexe\u2019s eyes went flat and cold, the way I\u2019d seen only once before, years ago in a group home when someone tried to hurt me. \u201cWe get you to a hospital. Then we make them pay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He lifted me effortlessly, carrying me to his car. The heat inside was a shock, the leather seats sticking to my soaked skin. He drove fast, one hand gripping the wheel, the other reaching back to squeeze my hand whenever another cramp hit. I drifted in and out, the world reduced to the sound of the rain, the thunder, and Alexe\u2019s voice\u2014sometimes in English, sometimes Russian\u2014promising me I would not die. Promising someone would answer for this.<\/p>\n<p>At the hospital, doctors and nurses swarmed me. I heard words like \u201chypothermia,\u201d \u201cstress contractions,\u201d \u201cpremature labor.\u201d I heard Alexe\u2019s voice, low and threatening, refusing to leave my side. \u201cI\u2019m her family. I\u2019m all she has.\u201d My daughter\u2019s heartbeat thundered on the monitor\u2014strong, stubborn, alive.<\/p>\n<p>When the danger finally passed, when the doctor told me my baby was safe, I broke down completely. Alexe sat beside my bed all night, silent, watchful, a dark guardian angel. In the harsh fluorescent light, I told him everything\u2014about Thomas, about Diane, about the lies and the cruelty and the night they decided I was disposable.<\/p>\n<p>He listened, face carved from stone. \u201cYou wanted a normal life,\u201d he said when I finished. \u201cIs this what normal gets you in America? Locked out in the rain by the man who promised to love you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I shook my head, tears burning my eyes. \u201cI was wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes,\u201d he said. \u201cYou were.\u201d He leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. \u201cDo you want my help, Elena? Not just a place to stay. Not just money. Do you want me to make them pay for what they did?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old Elena\u2014the one who still believed in forgiveness, in second chances\u2014died on that porch. The woman who survived wanted justice. Wanted revenge.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes,\u201d I said. \u201cI want them destroyed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Alexe smiled, slow and dangerous. \u201cThen sleep, little sister. Rest. Tomorrow, we go to war.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This is the story of how I lost everything in the heart of America\u2014and how I made damn sure they lost more.<\/p>\n<p>Sunrise in Ohio is supposed to bring hope, but that morning, the hospital room was thick with dread. The blinds cut pale stripes across the floor, casting Alexe\u2019s silhouette in stark relief against beige walls. I lay in the stiff hospital bed, my body bruised, my mind raw, clutching the tiny hospital bracelet that marked me as \u201cElena Volkov, Female, 27, Pregnant.\u201d My daughter\u2019s heartbeat was a steady thrum on the monitor\u2014a promise, a warning, a reason to fight.<\/p>\n<p>Alexe hadn\u2019t slept. He sat by the window, phone in hand, voice low and lethal as he spoke in Russian, then English, then Russian again. I caught fragments: \u201cLawyer. Private investigator. Cash. No, I don\u2019t care about the price.\u201d He looked at me between calls, his eyes softening for only a moment before sharpening again, calculating, ruthless.<\/p>\n<p>My phone buzzed on the tray beside me. A text from Thomas:<br \/>\nDon\u2019t come back. It\u2019s over. You brought this on yourself.<br \/>\nNo apology. No concern for our child. Just finality, cold as the rain outside.<\/p>\n<p>Alexe saw my face and took the phone, reading the message with a sneer. \u201cHe\u2019s weak. He thinks he\u2019s safe because he has the house, the money, the American dream. But he forgot something.\u201d He leaned in, voice low. \u201cHe forgot you have me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I closed my eyes, remembering how I\u2019d met Thomas\u2014at a Fourth of July barbecue, fireworks exploding over the Ohio River, laughter and cheap beer. He\u2019d seemed perfect: steady job, sweet smile, a family that looked like something out of a magazine. I\u2019d wanted normalcy so badly I ignored the warning signs. Diane\u2019s controlling questions, Thomas\u2019s need to be right, the way he flinched if I disagreed in public. I\u2019d traded chaos for comfort and ended up in a different kind of prison.<\/p>\n<p>The nurse came in, gentle, efficient, checking the monitor and my pulse. \u201cYou\u2019re lucky,\u201d she said softly. \u201cWhatever happened last night, you and the baby are fighters.\u201d She glanced at Alexe, eyes lingering on the scars peeking from his collar. \u201cYour brother?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSomething like that,\u201d I said, voice hoarse.<\/p>\n<p>She smiled, but her eyes were wary. \u201cYou need rest. And you need to think about your next steps. The social worker will come by soon.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>After she left, Alexe turned to me, all business. \u201cFirst, you recover. I\u2019ll handle the rest. I want every detail\u2014bank accounts, passwords, anything Thomas and Diane could use against you.\u201d He handed me a legal pad, pen poised. \u201cWrite everything. Leave nothing out.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I started, hands shaking, listing every secret I\u2019d buried in the name of love. The savings I\u2019d transferred to Thomas\u2019s account. The car in his name. The health insurance Diane insisted on controlling. Every thread they\u2019d woven into a net to catch me, hold me, break me.<\/p>\n<p>Alexe listened, nodding, making calls, sending emails. He moved with the precision of a surgeon and the fury of a brother who\u2019d seen too much suffering. \u201cWe\u2019ll start with the house,\u201d he said. \u201cHe can lock you out, but he can\u2019t erase your name from the deed without a fight. Ohio law is on your side. And if the law isn\u2019t enough, I have other ways.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I flinched, remembering stories Alexe had told me years ago\u2014about men who disappeared, fortunes lost overnight, reputations ruined by whispers and rumors. He\u2019d always protected me, sometimes too fiercely. I\u2019d run from him, seeking safety in Thomas\u2019s arms. Now, I realized, there was no safety\u2014only strategy.<\/p>\n<p>The social worker arrived, clipboard in hand, voice gentle but firm. \u201cElena, do you have somewhere safe to go when you\u2019re discharged?\u201d She glanced at Alexe, measuring him, then at me. \u201cWe can connect you with resources\u2014shelter, legal aid, counseling.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Alexe\u2019s smile was icy. \u201cShe has all the resources she needs.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I nodded, grateful and ashamed. \u201cThank you, but I\u2019ll be alright.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The social worker pressed a card into my hand anyway. \u201cIf you change your mind. No one should face this alone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>After she left, Alexe stood, rolling his sleeves. \u201cWe start now. You need clothes, a safe place to stay. I have an apartment in downtown Columbus. Security, cameras, no one gets in without me knowing. You\u2019ll be safe there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He helped me dress, his hands gentle but impatient. Every movement was a promise: I would never be left outside in the rain again. The drive into the city felt surreal\u2014skyscrapers rising above the cornfields, sunlight glinting off glass and steel. The apartment was high above the street, modern, anonymous, a fortress in the heart of America.<\/p>\n<p>Inside, Alexe handed me a phone, a credit card, a folder thick with documents. \u201cNew number. New account. Everything in your name. No one touches your money but you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I stared at the city below, feeling the old Elena fading, replaced by someone harder, someone who understood that survival was never gentle. \u201cWhat now?\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n<p>Alexe\u2019s answer was simple, chilling. \u201cNow, we make them regret ever thinking they could break you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He outlined the plan: legal action first, then public exposure. \u201cThomas is vulnerable. He has debts, secrets. Diane\u2019s reputation is everything\u2014she\u2019s on the board of three charities, the PTA, she cares about how she looks more than anything. We\u2019ll start small. Anonymous tips. Leaked emails. Let the cracks show.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I listened, heart pounding, as Alexe spun a web of retribution. For every kindness I\u2019d shown, every humiliation I\u2019d endured, there would be a reckoning.<\/p>\n<p>That night, I lay awake in the silent apartment, city lights flickering beyond the windows. My daughter kicked, strong, alive, a reminder that I was not just fighting for myself. I was fighting for her future, for the right to exist without fear.<\/p>\n<p>I thought of Thomas, of Diane, of the life I\u2019d tried so hard to build. I thought of the porch, the rain, the moment everything changed. And I knew: the war had begun.<\/p>\n<p>Tomorrow, the world would see what happened when an American dream turned into an American nightmare. And I would make sure that everyone\u2014Thomas, Diane, and anyone who ever doubted me\u2014would remember my name.<\/p>\n<p>Morning in Columbus was a different kind of quiet\u2014no birds, no familiar creak of porch steps, just the hum of traffic far below and the distant siren song of a city that never really sleeps. I woke in Alexe\u2019s apartment, sunlight slashing across the hardwood floors, my body stiff but determined. My daughter shifted inside me, a silent promise that I wasn\u2019t done yet.<\/p>\n<p>Alexe was already gone, but he\u2019d left a note on the kitchen counter. Meeting with lawyer at 10. Be ready to fight. \u2014A. There was coffee brewing, a new phone buzzing with messages from numbers I didn\u2019t recognize. One was from the investigator Alexe had hired:<br \/>\nFound evidence of financial misconduct. Diane\u2019s charity accounts don\u2019t add up. Will send files soon.<\/p>\n<p>I stared at the phone, heart pounding. The plan was in motion. Alexe had warned me: \u201cRevenge is not a single blow. It\u2019s a series of cuts, each one deeper than the last.\u201d I was ready.<\/p>\n<p>The lawyer arrived precisely at ten, sharp suit, sharper eyes. He introduced himself as Mr. Carter, specializing in \u201cdomestic disputes with high-value assets.\u201d He didn\u2019t flinch at my story. \u201cWe\u2019ll file for emergency protection,\u201d he said, flipping through documents. \u201cYou have a right to the house, to joint assets. The court will listen. Especially after what they did.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He explained the strategy: freeze accounts, file for divorce, gather every scrap of evidence. \u201cWe hit them fast,\u201d Carter said. \u201cYou\u2019re not just fighting for yourself. You\u2019re fighting for your child.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Alexe returned as Carter left, his face grim. \u201cDiane\u2019s board is panicking. Anonymous emails, photos of her with politicians, money trails that don\u2019t make sense. She\u2019s calling Thomas every hour. They\u2019re scared.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I felt a flicker of satisfaction\u2014but it wasn\u2019t enough. \u201cI want them to feel what I felt. Alone. Powerless.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Alexe nodded. \u201cThey will.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The next days blurred together\u2014court filings, meetings, endless phone calls. The investigator sent files that painted Diane as a fraud, siphoning money from charities meant for sick children. Alexe leaked them to local reporters, careful to hide my name. The headlines exploded:<br \/>\nLocal Philanthropist Under Investigation for Fraud.<br \/>\nCharity Scandal Rocks Suburban Board.<\/p>\n<p>Thomas tried to call me\u2014once, twice, a dozen times. I let every call go to voicemail. His messages grew desperate, then angry, then pleading. \u201cElena, please. We can fix this. Just come home.\u201d<br \/>\nHome. The word tasted like ashes.<\/p>\n<p>The court hearing came quickly. I sat in a cold, echoing room, Alexe beside me, Carter on my other side. Thomas looked lost, smaller than I remembered, eyes red-rimmed. Diane refused to meet my gaze, her lawyer whispering furiously in her ear.<\/p>\n<p>Carter spoke first, his voice calm, relentless. \u201cMy client was locked out of her home while six months pregnant. She was denied shelter, warmth, and medical care. She nearly lost her child. This was not a misunderstanding. It was calculated cruelty.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Thomas tried to interrupt, voice trembling. \u201cShe\u2014she was unstable. Diane was scared for her safety\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The judge cut him off. \u201cMr. Miller, your wife was hospitalized with hypothermia and stress-induced labor. This is not a matter for debate.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I spoke only once, voice clear and steady. \u201cI begged for help. I was left outside to bleed.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The judge granted me emergency possession of the house, froze all joint accounts, and ordered Thomas and Diane to stay away. Their faces twisted\u2014shock, rage, disbelief. For the first time, they looked powerless.<\/p>\n<p>After the hearing, Alexe squeezed my hand. \u201cFirst victory. Not the last.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The news kept rolling in. Diane was suspended from every board. Her name became poison. Thomas\u2019s job called\u2014he was put on leave pending \u201cpersonal issues.\u201d The house was mine, but I didn\u2019t want it. Every room echoed with betrayal.<\/p>\n<p>Alexe suggested a new beginning. \u201cSell it. Take the money. Start fresh.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I agreed. The sale was quick\u2014buyers eager for a suburban dream, unaware of the nightmare behind the walls. I packed what mattered: my daughter\u2019s ultrasound photos, a few books, nothing else.<\/p>\n<p>On the last night before closing, I stood in the empty living room, rain tapping on the windows. I remembered everything\u2014the laughter, the fights, the night on the porch. I felt the old pain, but it didn\u2019t own me anymore.<\/p>\n<p>Alexe waited outside, engine running. I locked the door one last time, keys heavy in my palm. I left them on the counter, a silent goodbye.<\/p>\n<p>We drove into the city, headlights cutting through the dark. My daughter kicked, strong and insistent. I reached for Alexe\u2019s hand, and for the first time in months, I felt safe.<\/p>\n<p>Tomorrow, I would begin again. Not as a victim, not as a wife, but as someone who survived. Someone who fought back. Someone who learned that in America, the dream is yours only if you\u2019re willing to take it back\u2014piece by piece, breath by breath.<\/p>\n<p>And I promised myself: my daughter would never know the cold of that porch. She would grow up knowing her mother was strong enough to face the storm\u2014and win.<\/p>\n<p>The city was a living thing\u2014restless, bright, indifferent to my wounds. In Alexe\u2019s apartment, high above the noise, I tried to build a new rhythm. Every morning, I watched the sunrise paint the skyline gold, my daughter\u2019s kicks growing stronger. I learned the city\u2019s sounds: horns, sirens, laughter drifting up from the street. I learned my own again, too\u2014the way I breathed when I wasn\u2019t afraid, the way I moved through rooms that belonged to me.<\/p>\n<p>Alexe was always near, but never intrusive. He worked late into the night, phone pressed to his ear, orchestrating the final moves against Thomas and Diane. Sometimes I heard him speaking Russian, sometimes English, his tone clipped and cold. He was a shadow at my back, a shield I hadn\u2019t known I needed.<\/p>\n<p>I met with Carter and the investigator in a sleek downtown office, sunlight bouncing off glass tables. Carter handed me a stack of papers: the finalized divorce, the sale of the house, the transfer of assets. \u201cYou\u2019re free,\u201d he said, voice gentle. \u201cLegally, financially. They have no hold on you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The investigator slid a folder across the table. \u201cDiane\u2019s reputation is finished. She\u2019ll never sit on another board. Thomas\u2019s job is gone. They\u2019re scrambling to contain the fallout, but it\u2019s too late. You\u2019re safe.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Safe. The word echoed in me, unfamiliar and precious.<\/p>\n<p>But safety wasn\u2019t the same as peace. I spent hours walking the city, exploring neighborhoods, watching families in parks and couples in coffee shops. Sometimes I felt envy\u2014a sharp, bitter ache for the life I\u2019d wanted. Sometimes I felt relief, a lightness in my chest that surprised me.<\/p>\n<p>One afternoon, I found myself at the river, the same one where Thomas and I had met years before. The water was high, cold and fast, reflecting the autumn sky. I sat on a bench, hands resting on my belly, and let myself remember. The fireworks, the laughter, the hope. The lies, the fear, the night everything broke.<\/p>\n<p>I cried\u2014not for Thomas or Diane, but for the woman I\u2019d been. Naive, desperate, willing to trade her own voice for a place at someone else\u2019s table. I cried for the child I\u2019d nearly lost, for the family I\u2019d tried to build on broken ground.<\/p>\n<p>When the tears dried, I felt something new\u2014a resolve, quiet and fierce. I wasn\u2019t the same woman who\u2019d stood on that porch, begging for a home. I was someone who had survived, who had fought, who had won.<\/p>\n<p>That evening, Alexe found me in the kitchen, humming to myself as I cooked dinner. He watched me for a long moment, then smiled\u2014a rare, genuine smile that softened the lines of his face.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re different,\u201d he said softly.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI have to be,\u201d I replied. \u201cFor her. For me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He nodded, pouring two glasses of wine. \u201cI have a job offer in New York. Security firm. Big clients, good money. If you want, you can come with me. Start over. No one will know your name.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I thought about it\u2014the anonymity, the chance to vanish, to rebuild from nothing. But I shook my head. \u201cI want to stay. I want to make a life here. I don\u2019t want to run anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Alexe studied me, then accepted my answer. \u201cYou have everything you need. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The next weeks passed in quiet determination. I found a small apartment near the river, sunlit and safe. I registered for prenatal classes, met other mothers, began to build a circle of friends who knew nothing of Thomas or Diane or the war I\u2019d survived. I found a job\u2014part time, nothing glamorous, but mine. Every day, I grew stronger. Every day, my daughter grew closer to the world.<\/p>\n<p>One morning, as autumn faded into winter, I woke to contractions\u2014sharp, insistent, undeniable. I called Alexe, who arrived in minutes, calm and steady. He drove me to the hospital, waited by my side as hours blurred into pain and hope and fear.<\/p>\n<p>When my daughter was born, I wept\u2014joy, relief, gratitude flooding every part of me. She was perfect, fierce, alive. I named her Vera, for truth. For the promise that I would never hide, never surrender, never let anyone make her feel small.<\/p>\n<p>Alexe held her for a moment, his hands gentle, eyes shining. \u201cShe\u2019s strong,\u201d he whispered. \u201cLike her mother.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In the quiet of the hospital room, I made a vow. Vera would never know the cold of that porch, the cruelty of locked doors. She would know love, safety, the power of her own voice. She would know the truth of her mother\u2019s survival\u2014not as a wound, but as a legacy.<\/p>\n<p>The world outside was still hard, still unforgiving. But inside, with Vera in my arms and Alexe at my side, I felt something I hadn\u2019t known in years.<\/p>\n<p>I felt home.<\/p>\n<p>And as the city woke beneath the pale winter sun, I knew that the storm was over. I had weathered it. I had won. And now, at last, I was free.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Lightning split the sky above our Ohio suburb, turning the world white for a heartbeat. In that flash, you could see everything: the manicured lawn,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1635,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1634","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-viral-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1634","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1634"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1634\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1637,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1634\/revisions\/1637"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1635"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}