{"id":4764,"date":"2026-01-30T15:42:30","date_gmt":"2026-01-30T15:42:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/?p=4764"},"modified":"2026-01-30T15:42:30","modified_gmt":"2026-01-30T15:42:30","slug":"a-lady-went-to-the-bar-on-a-cruise-ship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/?p=4764","title":{"rendered":"A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship and ordered a Scotch with two drops of water.<br \/>\nThe bartender gave her the drink, and she said, \u201cI\u2019m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it\u2019s today.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The bartender said, \u201cNow that it\u2019s your birthday, this one\u2019s on me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When the lady finished her drink, a woman to her right said, \u201cI want to buy you a drink too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The lady said, \u201cThank you, how sweet of you. Okay, bartender, I\u2019d like another Scotch with two drops of water. \u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cComing up,\u201d said the bartender.<\/p>\n<p>When she finished drinking, a man to her left said, \u201cI want to buy you a drink too.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The lady said, \u201cThank you very much, my dear. Bartender, I\u2019ll have another Scotch with two drops of water. \u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cComing right up,\u201d the bartender said.<\/p>\n<p>When he gave her the drink, this time, he said, \u201cMa\u2019am, I\u2019m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old woman giggled, and replied, \u201cSonny, when you\u2019re my age, you\u2019ve learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>LOL!!<\/p>\n<p>Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!<\/p>\n<p>An old lady went to a bank<\/p>\n<p>An old lady went to a bank intending to withdraw money\u2026<br \/>\nThe old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, \u201cI would like to withdraw $500.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The female teller told her, \u201cFor withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old lady then asked, \u201cWhy?\u201d The teller irritably told her, \u201cThese are rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a queue behind you.\u201d She then returned the card to the old lady.<\/p>\n<p>The old lady remained silent. But she returned the card to the teller and said, \u201cPlease help me withdraw all the money I have.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down, and said to the old lady, \u201cMy apologies Granny, you have $3.5 million in your account and our bank does not have so much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old lady then asked, \u201cHow much am I able to withdraw now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The teller told her, \u201cAny amount up to $300,000\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The old lady then told the teller that she wanted to withdraw $300,000 from her account.<\/p>\n<p>The teller did so quickly and handed it to the old lady respectfully.<\/p>\n<p>The old lady kept $500 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit the balance of $299,500 back into her account.<\/p>\n<p>The moral of this tale\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skills.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship and ordered a Scotch with two drops of water. The bartender gave her the drink,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4765,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4764","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-viral-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4764","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4764"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4764\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4767,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4764\/revisions\/4767"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4765"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4764"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4764"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorssite.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4764"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}