Life Is Funny: 11 Easy Jokes About Work, Bars, and Weird Animals
Have you ever had a bad day and just wanted to laugh? One of the finest methods to relax and feel better is to laugh. Here are 11 amusing jokes to make you feel better. They range from funny coworkers to smart animals and more.
1. Please give me two shots.
Every time a man goes to a bar, he orders two shots. He drinks them both and then goes.
“Why do you always get two?” the bartender says one day.
The man responds, “One is for me, and one is for my brother who lives far away.” It’s how we keep close.
A few weeks later, the man simply asks for one shot.
The bartender asks, “Is your brother okay?”
The man grins. “He’s fine.” “I just stopped drinking.”
2. Penguins on a trip
A police officer stops a truck driver because he hears unusual noises coming from the trailer.
He looks inside and finds 50 penguins!
The cop replies, “You can’t drive around with penguins.” “Bring them to the zoo!”
The driver agrees and drives away.
The next day, the same police officer sees the same truck with the same penguins.
The officer says, “I thought you were taking them to the zoo!”
The driver says, “I did.” “They really liked it! Today I’m taking them to the beach.”
3. The Duck That Talks
A duck goes into a tavern and asks for a beer and a sandwich with ham.
The bartender exclaims, “You’re a duck!”
The duck says, “That’s right.”
“And you talk?”
“Clearly,” says the duck. “Now, what about that sandwich?”
It turns out that the duck works at a building project close by. He comes in every day.
The circus arrives in town one day. The bartender informs the boss about the duck that talks.
The manager is shocked and adds, “Tell him to call me!”
The next day, the bartender tells the duck about the job at the circus.
“What circus?” the duck asks.
“Yes, a big tent, animals, and all that.”
The duck thinks for a second and then asks, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
4. The Centipede That Talks Slowly
A man sees a sign that says, “Talking centipede—$100.” He buys it and brings it home.
He asks the centipede, “Hey, want to go get a beer?”
No answer.
He asks again later, this time louder.
The centipede suddenly says, “I heard you the first time!” I’m getting ready to put on my shoes!
5. An engineer who is at the wrong place
A mistake sends an engineer to Hell after he dies.
Things are breaking apart over there: the roads are damaged, the air conditioning is broken, and the pool is vacant.
The engineer begins to mend everything. Hell gets really pleasant.
God sees this and declares, “This isn’t right!” That engineer should go to Heaven.
Then someone says, “Great haircut!”
He says to the bartender, “I think I’m going crazy.” People keep saying nice things about me.
The bartender smiles and adds, “Oh, those are just the peanuts.” They are free.
Want to laugh more?
Mission accomplished if you smiled at any of these.
Humor is everywhere, from a smart duck to a stupid farmer to a snarky centipede.
Tell a buddy who needs a chuckle today!
